soul thoughts and climbing

I’ve been thinking a lot. I usually think a lot, sometimes I walk into things because I get so deep into my thoughts. I love being left alone to sink deep into my mind. It’s like a long thought tunnel that suctions me

deeper and

deeper and

I feel like I’m floating or swimming in a warm sea.

Some thoughts are logical and put together (those ones usually come first) but the deep thoughts are not visible with words- those are my soul thoughts which I usually try and compare to some kind of animal. It helps me dissect and explore each thought with more detail. The thoughts often personify into fluid, deep colored clouds brushing around. It’s hard to make them whole at first, but if I spend enough time, things start to come together.

My thoughts sometimes remind me of time. What is time really? A day of the week? The sun that is growing older day by day? God is outside of time, so what does that mean?

Or deep thoughts remind me of making a painting. I start with some theme colors and a basic outline and slowly, somehow, things start to fall into place.

Maybe that’s why I love climbing so much. My love for climbing goes so much deeper than just being outside and loving the blue skies, green trees, fresh air and limited amounts of annoying people and busyness. More than the rush and joy of being high up in the air or finishing something that I never thought was possible.

I think it reminds me of the deepness of my thoughts, but all spread outside of my mind in front of me on the rock. And I get to sit there for as long as I want to and stare at it. And I might be able to climb it, or it might be attainable some day, or I can just marvel and respect the fact that my body will not be able to climb that particular problem.

Nothing can clear or quite my mind like that. Sometimes I come full circle with things that have been running around in my head for a while or sometimes, there’s nothing but deep peace. And those are usually the best times. To have absolutely nothing to think about except being and knowing that I am greatly loved.